Your operations left millions on the table that cost your company 6 or 8 cents a share. Sorry to be so blunt, but my global fourth quarter demands make yours look like an Easy Bake Oven and I don’t have time to mince words.

So, instead of that new Jag you asked for, I’m filling your stocking with something way better this year. Implement these and you’ll be able to buy yourself a Jag and an Aston Martin, too.

1. Your on-time delivery performance was less than stellar. Ever wonder how my elves get all those toys out every year? Our secret is just-in-time production and capacity modeling. We can accurately estimate our factory loading and set up production lines for new toys in minutes. I’m giving you an Ops Strategy session.
   
   
2. Your new employees are taking too long to get up to speed and they’re making too many mistakes. Your on-boarding process is disorganized and ‘sink or swim’ and not everyone learns that way. I know you’re incredibly busy, but there’s a right way to do this that’s simple and effective.
   
   
3. That yield problem you had went on way too long, and I happen to know your customer is hoping to get a new supplier under his tree. (Sorry to break the bad news.) The ‘shotgun approach’ your engineers tried took you down all kinds of blind alleys. You would’ve found the root cause right away if only you’d approached the problem systematically. Here’s a whole toolbox of methods to help you.
   
   
4. Re your employees’ low morale and high turnover, how many chili-party, Halloween-costume, secret-Santa events are you going to throw before you realize that people want more? You need to create a working environment where people are treated like intelligent adults and can contribute to making the business successful. I’m getting you an RSS feed to Liz Ryan’s radical HR blog. Finally, an HR pro who gets it!
   
   
5. Looking over your list of keynote topics, I’m not surprised that your executive retreats have all the staying power of last’s year stale candy canes. How much can your execs hear about personal productivity or “making lemonade out of lemons” before they want to throw up? I’m sending you a presentation about wolves, Navy SEALS and innovation that’ll knock your socks off and get your company off the dime.
   
   

Enjoy these new toys from all of us at the North Pole, and you’ll be amazed at what you see under your tree next year.

(And BTW, thanks for the cookies.)

Santa
Chairman and CEO,
North Pole Global Enterprises, Inc.

Happy New Year from all of us at
the Maverick Institute!